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Stories from the Kingdom of Klah

Sir Ronald Dolphin's Theory on Hedges

Sir Ronald Dolphin, the renowned scientist and philosopher, going to great lengths to test his theory that hedges are indeed capable of complex thought patterns. As part of his experiment he has had himself turned into a suburban hedge for 12 days and will be conducting a lecture on his findings in June.

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Ponies with Magic Powers, Central Klah

These mysterious animals appear from the sky every now and then, their magic powers being that they can apparently harness themselves into parachutes, which they also mysteriously eat after they land (pictured). Why they do this remains one of the great unsolved mysteries of Klah.

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Lady Madison, Champion of Cattlebattling

Lady Madison, her Les Moon tank and the number of times (47) she has reigned champion of cattlebattling, a popular sport in Klah where competitors race through the desert on the backs of giant Klahtian cattle whilst simultaneously performing epic guitar solos. Lady Madison is known not just for her speed and agility at racing cattle, but for her ability to shred out incredible guitar improvisations that practically have the desert cacti having a good old headbang.

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Native Sealhog nominated for NCIK

The native sealhog of Klah, who spends his nights snoring so loudly other forest creatures are forced to migrate great distances, and spends his days crashing loudly through the undergrowth, screaming and squealing like a deranged smoke alarm, has been nominated in the "Noisiest Creature in Klah" competition. The sealhog is normally found romping around in seaside forests, and many of those who live in these areas have been forced to erect sealhog-proof fences around their properties, covered in sponges and bits of foam to absorb the racket.  You would think, with all this excessive clatter that the sealhog could not possibly manage to catch any prey and that the species should surely have starved to death long ago, but in fact, due to the amount of time his mouth is gaping wide open, a surprising amount of flying grubs and fish find their way into his cavernous mouth.
The Noisiest Creature in Klah competition ends May 7th and the winner will receive a powerful megaphone.

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The Rollercoaster Formally Used For Royal Transportation

Before the royal family befriended a herd of silver-horned-buffalo to carry them into town, they used a roller coaster which left straight from the palace dining room. Often they would leap into it on a whim and could be seen flying through town with chicken drumsticks still clutched in their hands and food bibs tied around their royal necks. Now the roller coaster lies abandoned, used only by Prince Eugene to practice his handstands.

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