Stories from the Kingdom of Klah

There are places where the different realms come closer. The edges between them are softer, and the layers overlap, like a valley hollowed out by the ghost of a river long gone, or that part of a sand dune where you’re not quite sure if you’re back on regular land yet or still at the beach. Perhaps you have experienced the end of a concert when the crowd is applauding and the musicians have stopped playing, but the creation still hangs in the air - and there is a humming, not of sound, or even vibration, but of the realms rubbing against each other and causing little sparks that fly in unpredictable directions.

It was in one of these places, high on a mountain that merged with the sky, that a tree grew with some of its roots in a different realm from the other. In the tree, there came to be a nest containing two eggs, identical in shape in size but one was pale blue with white spots, the other white with pale blue spots. One day they hatched simultaneously, one next to the other – yet each creature found themselves to be the only one in the nest, for they had hatched into different realms.

On their own, but not alone, for the twins sensed the echo of the other, particularly at dawn and dusk or when they peered into certain reflective pools, where the weeds grow symmetrically around the water’s edge and the dragonflies dance in unison.

At first, they tried to get through the pools to the other, but the reflection dissolved with the first plunge of a beak, and they got cold and wet and sometimes bitten by eels. At dusk and dawn they tried again, scratching at the transitioning colours in the sky, flapping and slicing their wings through the gloaming in the hope they could cut through the realms like butter, and ignoring the dawn symphony of the other birds, (until they realised it was quite fun to join in, for there really is nothing like belting out your own ballad in time with the rotation of the earth).

Although they accepted they could never be together, never is not far from forever on the Time Circle, and so in some ways they felt a certain constant strength, even if other times it was a bit like knowing there was a delicious blueberry pie in the next room; as comforting as that is, it would be more comforting in the same room.

At these times, it was best to flock to the nearest dawn chorus, take the energy from the pie and belt it out through the lungs with such a strength as to briefly join all the realms.

Bernard had always been easily distracted. He could be trotting down the road to get the newspaper and on the way, he’d see a crow with a bit of ham heading down a side street. He’d quickly veer off after it - but then there’d be an intriguing hedge with an enticing scent and he’d feel the need to squeeze himself through that - when suddenly a procession of white rats playing gold tubas would go past, and before he knew it, he’d be dancing the highland fling up a distant mountain.  When he eventually got to the paper it...

Jeffrey liked dressing up and he liked dressing down, and he even liked dressing sideways. He chose his direction based on his mood that day, and it was entirely unrelated to expectations. Sometimes people stared at his outfits or made comments like “aren’t you worried about what people will think?” Jeffrey was confused. “I don’t have time to worry about that!” he laughed. “I’m far too busy choosing my fabulous outfits and worrying about the important things in life, like what I’m going to have for lunch, or if any of my friends need me to dance the hooley-hooley with...

If you were to peer into the sea around the Thrivenik islands you would be forgiven for thinking you were looking deep into a galaxy of many cosmic planets, tumbling meteorites and shooting stars, for the writhing, teeming, twinkling aquatic life is quite something to behold.

Many peculiar creatures are found in this stretch of water that are not found anywhere else, including the Thinking Fish (Cogitatus contemplatus), which seem to have such an easy time of finding food in the abundant waters that they have ample time on their fins to ponder the mysteries of life.

The Thinking Fish have come to believe that the Ocean is the whole world, and that everything Above Water is Outer Space. In Above Water / Outer Space alien creatures live, and although they inhabit ghastly bodies with no gills or scales or fins, they appear to wield unimaginable powers controlling wooden vessels with their minds, breathing the deathly dry air, and manufacturing small pancakes which occasionally end up in the ocean and are much revered.

Young Thinking Fish are told stories by their elders about how the Aliens have captured a great ball of fire and enslaved it to travel across the sky forever. Such wizardry! Surely such mighty beings can perform great miracles? The Thinking Fish gather their dreams and wishes into the gift of mist and send them up to Outer Space in the hope the Aliens will grant their requests, or at least take pity on their worshippers and send more pancakes.

And thus the Thinking Mist enters the water cycle.

And what comes up, must in this case come down.

And for some reason, this is always in Iki-rarah Beach. I suppose in some places it is always cloudy, in others it is always windy, and in others frogs regularly fall from the sky. In Iki-rarah a Wishful Thinking Rain is always pattering down on the sand dunes and pooling in the caves and drenching the wildlife.

There is nothing wrong with a bit of wishful thinking, like there is nothing wrong with a bit of cream in your sandwich. But too much cream in your sandwich and the bread gets soggy, and the sandwich falls apart. Many of the sand dunes in Iki-rarah expect that they will one day be vast mountains and win awards and have people come from far and wide to marvel at them. Some of the seals are convinced they have potential as hand models. Quite a few of the herrings (particularly the famous red ones found at Iki-rarah) believe the seagulls are their friends and dive in to pick them up to take them to parties.

Citizens, if you are visiting Iki-rarah, Tourism Klah advises you take a frond of Reality Fern (Realiopsida umbrellales) with you as protection.