Stories from the Kingdom of Klah
The Cave of Rumours
Cave of Rumours, Northern Klah. Photo: Nina van der Voorn
Rumour has it that due to a strange mineral abnormality, everything made within the cave becomes magnificent, while another rumour suggests that the rumours are true. The cave, located on the side of a valley, deep in the jungle of Mumble - a place you'd normally avoid if you were looking for the serenity of nature - always has an unusual amount of creatures battling their way towards it - often clutching musical instruments, half knitted scarves, the beginnings of an epic novel so epic it cannot be begun, or perhaps the ingredients and utensils to make a cake batter for an important village bake off. Some skeptics have complained though - "it's hard to write an award winning poem when one person is learning the violin and someone else is using a cake mixer in what is essentially an echo chamber".
First Mokkimfrazzler Installed at Calembourish Park, Hope for Those Affected by Mokkims
Sir Nikolai tests out the new Mokkimfrazzler, gifted by scientists to Calembourish Park on Saturday.
A new Mokkimfrazzler was installed at Calembourish Park on Saturday, bringing widespread joy to citizens. The Mokkimfrazzler is a revolutionary piece of technology designed by scientists to save Klah from bad jokes (or Mokkims as they are called in native Klah), which have become a huge problem in many parts of the country in recent years. Hospitals in Klah have become increasingly inundated with patients presenting cringe-related injuries and many social events have suffered as people opt to stay home not speaking to one another or wearing ear muffs.
Yangbatfest, March 29th – April 1st
This weekend in Klah is the annual celebration of the yangbat, a small, nutritious fruit which once saved the life of King Leland II after he accidentally locked himself in a small wardrobe for two weeks with nothing but a pot of glue and 3 ripe yangbats: the flesh of which he devoured, and the pips he used to construct a working key to escape. King Leland II (1796 – 1872) was rather beloved by his people, as he wore comical socks and replaced the usual long, monotonous royal speeches with jokes and the occasional solo mime performance. Hence, in honour of his fortunate escape, and in recognition of the remarkable fruit, a public holiday was declared. The citizens of Klah will spend this weekend performing the dance of the three yangbats, engaged in yangbat hunts, and generally eating themselves silly.
Happy Yangbatfest.
Popplesnik Peak: A Mountain with Two Sides
Popplesnik Peak (here seen from the south face) attracts many tourists each year as it is widely believed that if you mount the summit on the full moon whilst carrying 3 small shopping bags of blue lizards, you will be blessed with magnificent hair for thirty-one subsequent moons.
Royal Master Artist Journeys Inside Snake
Three days ago I went inside a really long snake under the sea and when I emerged I was in yet another foreign land, the land of Engle. It was cold in the reptile, and strange, I had thoughts of Geppetto, but no sooner had a darkness begun to press in on my thoughts, I was expelled, awkwardly, but alive, and with less snake innards on my sweater than expected.