Jeffrey the Free

Jeffrey liked dressing up and he liked dressing down, and he even liked dressing sideways. He chose his direction based on his mood that day, and it was entirely unrelated to expectations. Sometimes people stared at his outfits or made comments like “aren’t you worried about what people will think?”

Jeffrey was confused. “I don’t have time to worry about that!” he laughed. “I’m far too busy choosing my fabulous outfits and worrying about the important things in life, like what I’m going to have for lunch, or if any of my friends need me to dance the hooley-hooley with them, or if my pet lizard Bertrand has enough formal capes to wear – he does attend a lot of functions!”

Because he had his ears tuned to a different frequency he didn’t hear the pointless thoughts and unnecessary whispers about him. Instead he heard things other people didn’t hear. He could hear which scarves were spun by kind and noble silkworms and which were spun by dastardly meanies - and were therefore liable to get caught on door handles and generally misbehave. He could hear the trees laughing in the wind, which was enough to turn a miserable day into a delightful one. He could hear which of his braces wanted to join which of his shorts that particular day, and anyone with any sense knows a happy set of braces is an important (and wise) achievement.

He was sometimes vaguely aware of an unpleasant rumble coming from certain people, who were indeed making dark comments about his looks, but in the way you subconsciously avoid a deep puddle, or a biscuit that has less chocolate chips than the rest, he danced around these black holes with barely a sideways glance, and the darkness did not permeate his life. Which was handy – it’s much easier to find your clothes when you’re in the light.