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Magnus Magic-Hands wins people’s prize for coolest burglar in Klah

Change is a natural part of human life. Many people change their homes, their jobs, their interests, and sometimes their underwear. A few change into butterflies, or frogs, or wisened old people. Not many are able to change their body parts at will however – in fact Magnus P. Smithson is certainly the only person any of us at the Klah Gazette has heard of, and we even asked the delivery boy, who seems to know many characters both unsavoury and sweet, which are apparently different things.

Ever since he found himself adrift in the strange current of life, Magnus P. Smithson, also known as Magnus Magic-Hands, has always been both the easiest, and most difficult person to buy gloves for. This is not because he has fingers like fat little sausages or has no interest in glove fashion trends, but because he was born with the strange ability to be able to change his hands as one may change their hairstyle, if one were in a magical wig factory of infinite proportions. 

Early on, on he discovered this strange talent led to another talent: the ancient art of burglaring, for not only could he use some of his more powerful hands to snip through locks and lift large objects out of the way, he never left a traceable fingerprint. Perhaps because his mother was a plumber, and his mother’s mother had been a magpie, he also had a penchant for silver taps, and a house suddenly devoid of the usual gemstones and rare artworks, but also taps, became his signature burglar mark.

For some unexplainable reason (as many things the mass population likes are unexplainable) to be burgled by Magnus Magic-Hands rapidly became desirable, as if one had been selected personally by Magnus as a vote of popularity, and many front doors started mysteriously being left open, and ladders conveniently left next to windows. People who had recently been burgled began to hold elegant parties in their tapless homes, though these generally didn’t last long when people realised they couldn’t slick their hair back in the mirror, and that nobody was washing their hands.

And now the people themselves have returned this vote of popularity, with Magnus taking out number 1. in the heated bi-annual Coolest Burglar in Klah competition, beating long time classic favourite and only other entrant, the Burglavorous.

Many hands are raised for you tonight, Magnus.

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