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The Infinity Snakes of Time Gift Card

The Infinity Snakes of Time Gift Card

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A6 Sized Folded Gift Card with the Infinity Snakes of Time illustration on the front and story on the back. Includes cream envelope.

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People will tell you nothing lasts forever, and these people are wrong. It is true that many things do not last forever, for example yoghurt, or a steep hill you might be climbing whilst carrying a large statue of a horse on your back, and in these situations, it is useful to know that such things will not last forever.

The people who tell you nothing lasts forever, whilst well meaning, have clearly never heard of the Infinity Snakes, who had lasted forever, and would last forever.

This was their job, simply to exist and keep the time spectrum in balance. There was a little bit of paperwork (“Memo - July 12 - Yes we are still here”), and on Saturdays they would carve ¥ JERRY + SIMON 4EVA ¥ into public tables and pieces of setting concrete.

Sometimes of course they did their own thing; Jerry quite liked a good slither through the forest on her own, and Simon liked listening to his records of the Native Singing Cats Choir, loudly and immersively, and without Jerry turning the volume down.

And sometimes of course they quarrelled, tongues forked and fizzing - and every few decades Jerry would stamp her tail - but mostly they cackled, and danced, and fought Time Crime, shooting lasers from their powerful snake eyes at villains who tried to upset the balance by Greed or Theft (including the stealing of their paperwork) or by creeping up on the Infinity Snakes.

Those shot with the lasers would suddenly find strange time related occurrences slithering into their lives – yoghurt would sour before their eyes and those steep, statue laden hills would drag on impossibly long. One villain complained of washing that would never dry (and ended up having to live in an underwater cave where wet clothes were not a problem); yet another had all their clothes crumble into an ancient dust.

For, always the time lasers balanced out; if time was taken from one, it was given to another. And therefore, if any of you are considering becoming a Time Villain take note – you are wasting your time trying to battle the Infinity Snakes.

They always have each other’s backs.